


wishful thinking

by enchy



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Childhood Friends, Emotions, F/M, M/M, One Shot, One-Sided Attraction, Self-Indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:27:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24175834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enchy/pseuds/enchy
Summary: where akaashi can't help but wonder when he became such a horrible person
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Bokuto Koutarou/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 20





	wishful thinking

**Author's Note:**

> i havent written anything in a long time,,, please excuse me umu  
> originally wrote this for my ocs but modified it to fit bokuaka

He meets him on a sunny day, no clouds, sky blue as the soda he was treated to on the weekend for behaving well. The classroom is bustling with other 8-year olds that are rushing to shove their belongings in their respective cubby holes. Akaashi watches the teacher open the window; she flinches when a student tugs at her sleeve. Noticing the slight breeze, he scrambles to grab the jacket he packed in his backpack and slip it on.  
Akaashi's green eyes follow the teacher who has ushered him and another boy to the front of the class. She talks, but he doesn’t catch any of the words except his name, the boy’s name, and the word “transfer”. He glances to his side before quickly looking back to the class. The boy has black and white hair that looks straight out of an action cartoon his cousin loves, and Akaashi wonders how pointy it would be to touch. Instead of touching however, he extends a hand out and introduces himself.  
  
He takes a mental note of his name, his face, and the fact that his smile is very pretty.

They’re both 10 and sitting in front of the school garden. He watches Bokuto play with the hem of his shirt and swing his legs back and forth. When he smiles brightly, something he does often in front of the class when he gets an answer right, or when he’s in front of his “girlfriend”, Akaashi can’t help but want him to smile at him like that. He also wonders what a “girlfriend” is, but the last time he asked his mother, she only laughed and flicked his forehead. He’s snapped out of his thoughts when he sees Bokuto place a few yellow roses on his lap.

  
He complains that he’s hurting the flowers, but thinks that they would look better in Bokuto's hair than in his hands.

They’re now 15, and Akaashi is shocked to learn that Bokuto has gotten a tutor for math, a girl named Ayane that looks like a timid mouse. Bokuto laughs and jokingly punches his arm; he acknowledges that he’s bad at math but wishes Akaashi hadn’t emphasized it. When he talks about her and about how pretty and smart she is, Akaashi wonders if Bokuto has ever thought about him like that. But these thoughts are quickly shaken away; Akaashi only sighs and lectures him on not troubling her when getting tutored.

  
When he meets her, Akaashi feels a sense of triumph; Ayane certainly is smart and is conventionally attractive, but Bokuto is not as touchy-feely with her as he is with him. But when he sees the lovestruck look in Bokuto’s eyes whenever he looks at her, he can’t help but feel like a loser anyways.

They’re 17, and Bokuto is leaning against him watching a movie. A text earlier in the morning caused Akaashi to worry all day. He’s bitter, as the text saying how he was sad was because of Ayane and not anything groundbreaking like he thought it would be. Bokuto complains about how she has a boyfriend and shoves a spoon into the tub of ice cream. Akaashi can’t hear what the TV is saying; his thoughts are filled with how reassuring it is to know that Bokuto can’t date Ayane. He wishes he could console him, but he feels too happy to offer genuine words of comfort.

  
All he can do is wonder if Bokuto resting his head on his shoulder is an indication of something more.

It wasn’t anything, he thinks. They’re 18 now and Akaashi forces a smile when Bokuto comes to hug him. His new girlfriend, Ayane, timidly trails behind him with a few presents in hand. The thought that he’s not the one dating Bokuto makes him blink back a few tears. He blames it on sentimentality. Maybe he was just sad to see that his childhood friend was in a serious relationship before he could start dating anyone.

  
He knows it’s not true, and when he sees them encouraged to kiss under the mistletoe, in his living room where he had imagined kissing Bokuto thousands of times over, he excuses himself to the bathroom and waits until the tears stop.

They’re both 24 now, and Akaashi has learned a lot. He’s learned that Ayane is not as bad of a person as he was hoping he’d be. Akaashi finds that she is soft-spoken and skilled with her hands, and even sits in sometimes to listen to her play piano. He’s also learned, to mild annoyance, that they’ve been living together after Bokuto entered the MSBY Black Jackals. He knows how happy they are together, that Ayane is probably the best person for Bokuto, and that Bokuto has already bought a ring to propose, but feels a pang of discomfort in his heart when he sees them together.

  
He realizes that he wants them to break up, for Bokuto to come into his arms crying so he could comfort him, and can’t help but wonder when he became such a horrible person.


End file.
